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Jun. 24th, 2008

Nightly, his blood haunts my dreams.

Jun. 22nd, 2008

He screamed like a child, bleeding.

When the headline about my parents death's moved up the presses they called it a slaying. They called my father a monster for the murder-suicide and for doing it while I slept in the bed between them. They always had a way of spinning the story. They had a way of making things human interest. 10 years later I was approached by that same newspaper and asked if they could do a follow up piece. I probably would have refused if I didn't think it would look good on my application for the FBI. The way I could handle the press and the life. I couldn't look like a press whore but to be able to talk about it movingly and convincingly was looked upon as good by the men who looked over my application.

They asked me if I thought my father was a monster. I told them I didn't know. To qualify him as a monster would give him and other people in the world like him power over me. A monster is what little kids fear; it means that there's something under the bed waiting to attack. My father was certainly a man with problems. He was a man who apparently saw no other way out of those problems. But a monster? He was kind to me and from what I remember he was kind to my mother. Of course I was mostly raised by the maid before I was handed over to my aunt and uncle. He wasn't a monster to me because I never found it healthy to fear him. He was gone and his influence on my life was mostly gone too.

It went over well.

Muse | Love Hanover
Fandom Original Character
Word Count | 257

[thetenspot] (82) not ready to back down

082. TEN things that make your day better!

1. Black Coffee.
2. Poe, Edgar Allen.
3. Pictures of Sam.
4. My box of momentos.
5. Profiling.
6. Knives.
7. Chocolate.
8. Dreams.
9. Broken Mirrors.
10. Nine Inch Nails. Not the band.

Muse | Love Hanover
Fandom | Insanity's Love
071. TEN things in your bedroom.

1. A box of keepsakes.
2. a picture of sam
3. another more special box of keepsakes, random things
4. Books on criminology
5. My FBI issued gun
6. My badge
7. laptop
8. iPod
9. random things of Sam's that I still have
10. clothing

Muse | Love Hanover
Fandom | Original Character

I don't believe in Santa Claus. I was just a child when I was told he wasn't real. Just before my parents died. It wasn't a surprise to me really. I was the kind of child that never really believed in things like that. Not the easter bunny or the tooth fairy and not Santa. I always knew it was the house keeper who did all those things for me. She would shop for Christmas and help me write my lists.

When I moved in with my Aunt and Uncle they made the Christmas thing such a big deal that I always pretended that I still believed and that the world was a magical place.

It's not. There is no Santa, no magic. It's all people and their fucked up lives. They deal with the world as best they can maybe. But they fail and they're stupid and I've been a person who deals with stupid people. I know what's right and wrong.

Santa is antiquated and idiotic and children are basely stupid. I can't stand them. When I walk through places at Christmas I see these children worshiping at the alter of Santa and its disgusting and parents just feed into the idea of Santa. I find my self staring at them and thinking how much better the world would be without people who look like that and think like that. The alter of Santa is the alter of stupidity.

Muse | Love Hanover
Fandom | Original Character
Word Count | 241
059. TEN people you've hurt.

1. Sam.
2. Bret.
3. Sam.
4. Sam.
5. Mom.
6. Dad.
7. Sam.
8. Sam.
9. Sam.
10. Sam.

Muse | Love Hanover
Fandom | Original Character
Application for entrance to the FBI Academy

Applicants Name: Love Twilight Hanover
Birthday: January 24, 1986
Social Security Number: --- -- ----
Residence: Los Angeles, California
Martial Status: Single
Children: None.
Education: Delphi Academy of Los Angeles
University if California (Los Angeles)
Degree: Psychology, Criminology.
Criminal Record: None.
Applicant Essay: Why do you want to join the FBI

When I was six years old I had a bad dream one night. I woke up and quietly made my way down the hall to my parents room. They weren't at home a lot and a nanny basically raised me but I loved my parents. My mom had this way of smiling at you that made you feel like the most important person in the world. They weren't very happy to be woken up but my dad pulled me up between them and secured the comforter around me tightly. I slept so heavy that night that nothing could have woken me up. Except screaming and the light pouring in through the window. I opened my eyes and it felt warm and sticky all around me and when I looked down all I saw was blood. My mother had killed my father and then slit her own wrists. I was in shock and my nanny pulled me out of the bed and called the police. There was no criminal to catch but the experience stuck by me as I grew up in my Aunt's custody. She sent me to the best school in LA and always told me that I had to be the best. I had the idea in my mind for a long time that I wanted to do good in the world. Maybe even put people like my mother behind bars for the evil they commit in the world.

It wasn't until I was seventeen that I knew for sure that this was what I wanted to do. I fell in love with a boy; like most teenage girls do. He wasn't the type of guy most people expected me to be with but I saw something in him that nobody else seemed to care about. His name was Sam and he became my best friend and the person I wanted to be with forever. His father was not a nice guy. He was abusive and I always tried to get Sam to go to the police about him but it was his dad and as much as Sam hated him; he loved him too.

Sam was murdered by his father. When the man was acquitted in court because there just wasn't quite enough evidence I felt rage like I'd never felt before. I knew this kind of thing happened all the time and it made me hurt inside for all those people who lost someone they loved and never saw justice. I decided then, as I worked through my anger and grief, that I wanted to be someone who helped find the evidence to put men like Sam's father away.

I want to be the person who helps put the criminal's away. I have a photographic memory and I know I'm smarter than most people that I come into contact with. The FBI is the perfect place for me.

Muse | Love Hanover
Fandom | Original Character
Word Count | 539
005. TEN things you learned as child.

1. A bed sheet works just as well as a glove when worrying about finger-prints. The CSI revolution has allowed kids to understand what they can and cannot get away with. All I'm saying.

2. Parents don't know best.

3. Mixing Jack and Vodka is a sure fire way to knock a 28 year old woman out cold.

4. Being adopted by family members is an easy process but no matter what they always look at you as though one day you might break. You always stay in control of your emotions, if you ever have any.

5. Being pretty will allow you to get anything you want. Innocence is a mask that can easily be put in place, even as a child.

6. Older men like bows.

7. Younger boys like bare necks.

8. Sharpening knives is key to the end result. If your knife is dull it will not slide as easily across a throat.

9. Sink-holes are amazing for getting rid of evidence.

10. Friends are good props to have to retain the image of normal.

Muse Love Hanover
Fandom Original Character
042. TEN people you would die for and why.

1. Sam Carson
2. Sam Carson
3. Sam Carson
4. Sam Carson
5. Sam Carson
6. Sam Carson
7. Sam Carson
8. Sam Carson
9. Sam Carson
10. Sam Carson

But he's dead so I guess no one.

Muse | Love Hanover
Fandom | Original Character